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An app that reads the room, not your mood.
ROA$TED is a personal-finance app that prefers candor to confetti. It reads your statements, finds the patterns, and tells you what they actually mean — without the pep-talk.
— The premise
Every other money app claps when you spend less on coffee.
For two decades, the personal-finance category has confused noticing with progress. A streak of skipped lattes is not a financial plan. A push-notification calling you a “rockstar” is not a balance sheet. And a “fun money” line item is not a budget — it is a confession.
ROA$TED was built because the team was tired of being applauded by software that could not, when asked, explain the trajectory of its own user’s checking account.
— The promise
No confetti. No condescension.
- Plaid-connected accounts so the numbers are real, not aspirational.
- An AI coach (we call her Jackie) trained on the part of finance that nobody automates: pattern-recognition.
- A weekly Roast Board: one paragraph, calmly delivered, of what your money has been up to.
- An 80-card design system that surfaces the right card at the right moment — and keeps quiet otherwise.
— The plan
iOS first. Web second. Then everywhere your money is.
We are launching iOS in 2026. The Android build follows. Beyond that: bank integrations in markets your existing app forgot, a coach that can speak the languages your bank doesn’t, and a press kit that won’t embarrass you in front of your friends.
Want to see it do its thing?
Bring your bank statements. We brought the teeth.